Tag Archives: happiness

A year ago…

9 Jun

A year ago at this very moment, I thought I was tired.  I thought I knew what was about to happen, but I really had no clue. As a year ago I was getting ready for bed, crawling into bed and then I heard a “pop.” That pop was the start of the most wonderful journey that I’ve ever experienced.  Four hours later a few hours after midnight (after probably one of the shortest labors most people will ever hear about), I met one amazing little girl who has continued to light up my life and help me find my destiny ever since.

The past year has been challenging and life changing. You think you’re tired? Have a baby, work a full time job, live far away from family or most people who’d you consider asking for help, and just rely on your husband who also works a full time job often with opposite hours. Then I will believe you are tired.  Have any child for that matter, and you will know the definition of tired.

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How those nap photos of changed in a year, but I’m still incredibly grateful for each and every nap cuddle!

It’s also been wonderful. It’s amazing to think of myself as to where I was a year ago jumping into motherhood and where I am now. I’ve found my inner voice as being her mother. I speak up for what’s best for her. I fight for what she deserves. I find a way to give her everything I can and to keep her safe, healthy, happy, and loved. She is oh-so-very-much loved.

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click photo for source

It’s been interesting. I started out breastfeeding as I knew I wanted to. My goal was six months. There were some nights early on when she wanted to eat ALL THE TIME that I was wondering if I could make it three months. There were nights when she just kept eating that I was nervous I wasn’t producing enough milk. Before we knew it, I had hit six months. We introduced solid foods and it was all easy enough from there. Yes, I dedicated all my breaks at work to pumping. I was lucky enough to have a bit of a freezer stash for the days that I didn’t quite pump enough.  I successfully am a full-time working mother who managed to exclusively breastfeed their child for an entire year.  I’m proud of that statement. (I would like to state that I don’t care if you breastfeeding or formula feed as long as your child is well fed and taken care of. Good for you mom, no matter what you did!)  Yes, the last few months got easier as I was able to transition to working at home and I can pump while I work. It’s a glorious thing!  Now, here I am a year breastfeeding in and I’m trying to figure out how to start weaning. In the past week, she’s started refusing a bottle and only wants fresh milk. We’ll transition into other liquids at daycare, but how does one wean? That’s my new dilemma, and it’s not something I ever thought of a year ago. It’s a wonderful place to be.

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It’s been a year of discovery. I’ve been finding what’s important and myself. The past year as really made me see that I am meant to be her mother and I love being her mother.  Before I had her, I never got a feeling of “this is where I’m meant to be” as strongly as I do each and every day with her.

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It’s been a year of thanks. After our first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, I was terrified. I didn’t know if I would ever get pregnant. My entire second pregnancy I was scared. I tried to enjoy it, but it didn’t feel real as what if something happened? She didn’t feel real until she entered the room and then life was magnificent.  Then, I started worrying about SIDs, if she’s safe at daycare, if she’s eating enough, and all other normal mom worries. I’m thankful I was able to have those worries as not every Mom gets a happy ending. So I’ve been thankful and gave thanks as I’ve prayed for this wonderful little girl who lights up my life and I can’t wait to see grow up. I’m grateful and thankful for each and every day. I’ve learned to put my phone down and enjoy the moment more. Enjoy watching this wonderful girl discover, grow, fall down, pick herself back up and try again.

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My big girl watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I hope I am lucky enough to see her grandchildren someday as that’s a wonderful thought.  Happy Birthday Eve Sweet Darling Girl.  Here’s to a wonderful second year and many many more.  I won’t mind if you let me sleep past 2:12 a.m. tonight when you made your appearance and screamed for the next two hours as you didn’t know what happened or where you were.  However, if you want to relive those moments and get Mama cuddles, go ahead and wake me up.  I’d be happy to hold you.

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30 thoughts on my last year…

22 Mar

My birthday is coming up in a few days and I’m too the point that I have to stop and think how old I am.  (It may be lack of sleep/mommy brain since LO has been born).  However, the last year has been simply amazing.  I’ve grown a lot. I’ve had some amazing experiences. I’ve had some lows, but I am forever grateful that I’m where I am currently.

I’m waiting for some baby food to cook up on the stove, so I figured I’d blog. However, I know my mental capacity isn’t much right now as I am exhausted. Again. So I figured I’d do a list of sorts. So here are 30 thoughts on my last year.

  1.  I’m grateful for all the trips an adventures we had before we had children. It makes me want to have every future trip with our family as we’ve already traveled the two of us – now it’s time to make some memories and adventures as a family.

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    Throwback to Aulani

  2. I’m grateful for my job, friends,  and my husband all of which provide me to live and experience this wonderful world.
  3. I can survive on very small amounts of sleep.
  4. Skinning your knee is much more fun as a child then it is as an adult. It hurts just the same though. (Also – much cooler stories as a kid. Everyone just thinks you’re stupid if you fall down the stairs.)
  5. My house is now decorated with a bunch of kid toys – and I couldn’t be happier. I should have saved an empty room for all the stuff that a baby needs.
  6. By living where we do, we miss a lot and not everyone will understand that we can’t travel to where we grew up at the drop of a hat. This is our home, and by moving thousands of miles away I knew I’d miss some things. Unfortunately, it can’t be helped no matter how much I’d want to be there or see someone. I’ve been remembering this more and more lately.
  7. I need to hang out with our friends a bit more – (If you’re reading this and want to hang out (and wouldn’t mind a baby coming with) send me a message please!)
  8. Oatmeal really can produce more Breastmilk. I’ve used this multiple times when I needed to get more food.  #themoreyouknow
  9. Seeing a child figure out their world is simply one of the best things ever. This is one of my favorite things over the past year – I celebrate all of her accomplishments in my mind as they are things we take for granted that are really little miracles.

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    Our Girl.

  10. Life is precious and there is way too much hatred, anger, and senseless killing in the world. We’ve seen this a lot in the last year. Something needs to change.
  11. Bailey just sits there and watches the baby crawl towards him. You have to remind him that he’s capable of moving. Butters does this as well. It’s like they freeze in fear as she’s coming to pull out chunks of their fur.
  12. Disney Cruises can be done with a baby. We will have many more of these in our future – Also, how does one book a cabin if you are suddenly five family members? IMG_5426
  13. You think you’re good at communication until you have a baby. We’ve worked through a lot of our bumps and we’re getting better every day.
  14. Motherhood is amazing. You cannot describe to anyone the amount of love you feel for your child or the joys, the fun, and the exhaustion. No one can understand unless you are a parent – it’s even more awesome than you think it is.
  15. I love my husband more and more each day as he has given me the opportunity to be our children’s mother.
  16. You don’t really miss caffeine once it’s out of your system. It really is a drug. I’ve been off caffeine for a year and a half now (minus the occasional one sip of husband’s soda) and I don’t miss it. It’s now a contest to see how far I can get with no caffeine I feel. There are some days when I really miss it or really want a Mountain Dew. I’ve learned to enjoy water, herbal tea’s, juices, and many other delicious things.
  17. I really enjoyed being pregnant. I didn’t have any complaints besides my occasional freak out moments when I couldn’t feel LO move enough.  However, it was a really unique and fun experience. Hopefully I get to do it again someday.
  18. There are many places I still want to visit and places I want to visit again. There’s been many day dreams on future vacation plannings over the past year.  There’s also been daydreams of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom – something I never thought I’d ever want.
  19. I’ve become a tiny bit less jaded over the past year. I realize that everyone is trying the best they can and where as I used to judge before, I’m probably a little less snarky12047135_835199502099_6813461391518704624_n now. Maybe I’ve mellowed a bit.
  20. Baby Giggles are like crack. SERIOUSLY.
  21. I definitely pray a bit more now that I’m a mother. I don’t just pray for myself and my family, but I think of five people that I know or don’t know a day and send prayers their way. Everyone can just a little bit of extra good thoughts and prayer.  I also say a prayer that my LO lives a long healthy life as she has so much to offer this world.
  22. I miss running and exercise. My goal for the next year is to get back on that boat and moving again. Lately, the most exercise I’ve gotten is stopping a baby from diving off a couch or a bed (or from crawling down the stairs). Hopefully we’ll get air in the tires of the jogging stroller and I will be out there again before I know it.
  23. I’m hopelessly behind on a lot of TV shows. I’ve started to read online spoilers and then watch them so I don’t feel as lost. One of these days we’ll catch up.
  24. I enjoy that I can eat spicier food. Thank you pregnancy. It’s definitely caused me to try some different things over the past year.
  25. The Mexican food cravings of my pregnancy have never left me.

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    Hilton Head

  26. <—- That Guy is still my everything and always will be.
  27. I still enjoy the few moments I get to myself a day. However, at the same time I miss my little one so much that I wish she was right here cuddling next to me.
  28. I still love my jeep renegade. I’m definitely a jeep girl and I’m very happy that this is my car for the next chunk of my life.
  29. There will always be more cleaning and things to be done. I’m a mom that believes that the experiences of my child are much more important than a clean house. Apologies if you come visit and that offends you. It’s livable and it shows that we are living.
  30. I really hope that my life is nowhere near over. I want to see my LO in 30-40-or even 50 years from now. I cannot get over how precious these moments are and how I’m so grateful to be here to experience them and to see her grow.  I pray I’m lucky enough to watch her stumble, pick herself back up, find happiness, grow, and experience everything this wonderful world has to offer.IMG_5543

Baby giggles are addicting.

30 Oct

Tomorrow ends three glorious weeks that I’ve gotten to spend with our LO. She’s been a delight. She is extremely well behaved as a baby, but there have definitely been some tears. However, none of those matter as they are off set by the amazing sound of baby giggles.

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This is a normal pose for her. She loves that foot.

We’ve done our first craft project (I’ll upload it in a Halloween post that I plan on doing tomorrow.) We’ve taken her to Epcot and Disney’s Hollywood Studios. She’s met some of my coworkers. We’ve had amazing friends visit. It’s been a very good three weeks. (Even me getting sick as Daddy was luckily able to cover and nothing says true love besides that as being sick with a child is worse than just being sick.)

However through all the moments some of my favorites were this afternoon when we were both just laughing and being silly. Her little eyes would just light up as she knew I was going to laugh and just joined in the fun. No toys, just us girls giggling together being silly. Between baby giggles and cuddles I am flying on an emotional high even though I’m still missing some sleep (please, I will be well rested again in a few years). The one thing that would have made it better is our entire family being together. That will just have to wait until our next vacation.

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💜

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What is this thing?

LO, I hope you know how unbelievably loved you are.

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Kids are little miracles…

17 Oct

In the past few months as I’ve gotten the pleasure to watch LO grow, it’s been amazing to see her little accomplishments. I’m addicted to making her giggle or smile (but still tell her no when she bites).  It’s been great to see her accomplishments – like holding up her head. It’s something that we just take for granted. We hold up our head all day long and it’s no big deal. However, to a baby who is slowly getting control it’s a HUGE deal. Granted, she started holding her head up for little bits of time since birth, it’s so great to see how we can sit her like a big girl and she just holds up her head without any help. Something we take for granted, but is so hard and is worked at for a little one.

Love this Collage

Love this Collage

I honestly think if everyone had a baby to watch their little miracles (not that everyone should take care of a baby, but just watch one) the world would be a better place.

She rolled over once and my amazing husband got it on film as she had been trying her hardest all week. We now have a video of the first moment she went from tummy to back. She looked totally confused and didn’t understand what happened.  She hasn’t tried it again since so it may have scared her.  However,  I know it will be amazing to watch her the first time she crawls (she tries so hard), sits up (How do babies figure out how to sit up? How do they learn that?), or pulls herself up or anything it will be a joy to watch. It really is great to watch her little accomplishments.

She hated tummy time when it started off. It was just not for her. However, she urgently wants to crawl.  I keep telling her that as soon as she can lift her trunk up, she’ll be able to go. However, she has to practice tummy time in order to get there.  Maybe someday she’ll understand that.

There’s already been so many changes in her few months to name a few:

  • She no longer has to sleep with a swaddle (big girl pajamas!)
  • She recognizes both of her parents.  We get huge grins when we get home from work.
  • She can imitate faces that we make.
  • She knows her bedtime routine and once she starts getting sleepy she’s cranky until we start it. Then it’s instant smiles.
Trying to copy my face

Trying to copy my face

So yes, kids are little miracles. Not only is it a miracle that we survived pregnancy, had a safe delivery, and she’s made it this far – just watching her learn is amazing. This is totally a new mom gushing post. I just wanted to share my joy.  I can’t wait to watch her continue to grow. I’m not wishing time for her to be older, I’m enjoying each and every moment (although I would like her to sleep through the night – four month sleep regression needs to end – I miss our even 5 hour chunks a night).

Standing like a big girl.

Standing like a big girl.

I read somewhere that having a baby is the only joyous occasion you are really at a hospital for and when you are done having kids the only time you’ll be at the hospital after that is for some unhappy occasions. It really is true. Kids are the only joy you get from hospitals and the quote just reminds me to keep enjoying every moment. Put my phone down and watch her.  Although I am getting so many moments in pictures, there are times that I just put down my phone and watch the little wonder that she is.

If you would have told pregnant me or even before mom me how much joy this would be I wouldn’t entirely understand. I knew it would be life changing. However, I don’t think in my mind the total changes that we would end up making. The joy we would end up having.  I knew it would be awesome but not this awesome.

watching the wonder of discovery and her little brain work!

watching the wonder of discovery and her little brain work!

22 weeks and counting…

14 Feb

Since we had amazing news at our doctor’s appointment last week, we have been extremely busy.  After our appointment, we took a moment to go have lunch and celebrate just the two of us. Then we started getting busy registering (at Babies R Us and Target) that same day.  We made decisions on nursery decorating and added all of our must-have items!  We went a bit crazy, but it is our first baby so we will see what we enjoy using and what we don’t!

Our notes from the scan was that baby girl was perfect in every single way!  They didn’t see anything that was a cause for concern and she was moving around a lot. (Keep it up little one!)  I’m starting to feel her kick more and more, but my husband hasn’t been able to feel her except one time. She tends to stop kicking as soon as he puts his hand on my stomach where she last kicked.  However, I feel her when I sit for longer periods of time so I am thankful. I love feeling the kicks/pokes/bubbles.

Our Gender Reveal Photo

Our Gender Reveal Photo

I figured I’d post another survey so I have a record of this pregnancy.  Knowing what the gender was and already having her full name known to us is very exciting! (No, we won’t tell you the name. We will reveal when she’s born to make sure the name fits her as we do have a back-up just in case.)

22 Weeks+ Pregnancy Survey

Must have items: 

  • More cute Maternity clothes! I feel like my closet shrunk since I’m staring at 50+ shirts that I can’t fit into currently. I plan on packing them up until I can wear them again. However, I went out this week and added more tanks, t-shirts, yoga clothes, and sweaters to my wardrobe this past week. It’s nice to have some options in the clothing department again instead of the same six shirts.
  • Comfortable shoes. My feet are starting to hurt if I walk around too much in flip flops for long periods of time. This makes me sad as I love my flip flops. I feel I will keep using them as much as I can though.

Sleep: I’ve been sleeping mostly soundly. I had a night of a horrible nightmare this week that kept me up most of the night. As when I kept going back to sleep, I could feel myself going to start my nightmare again so I just kept waking myself up. However, when I get tired I normally fall asleep quickly and I’m still getting 7-10 hours of sleep a night (broken up of course with bathroom breaks and shifting positions). I’m going to buy a new pillow for my legs to try and help me sleep more comfortable as that’s where a lot of my annoyance comes from.

Cravings: Meat.  Breakfast sausage. Bacon. Burgers. Steak. Meat is what I’ve been craving a lot of this week.

Baby movement: Definitely feeling a few kicks here and there – especially when I’m at work and sit for long periods of time. I love feeling these kicks. I can’t wait until others can feel them too (only if I give them permission).

Gender: Baby Girl! We didn’t care either way; we just wanted a healthy baby. We are thrilled to know as it definitely made it more real. It’s a girl!

Challenges this week: If I sink too far into a couch it feels like I take forever to get up. Something I’m sure will get more and more difficult as weeks go on. Also had some horrible hip pain for a few days. I know it’s just our little one making more space, so I am thankful!

Best moment this week: Seeing our families and revealing the gender to them.  It’s nice to have it known and everyone excited. Now to plan for our baby shower in April!

Baby Girl Waving!

Baby Girl Waving!

18(ish) weeks and counting…

17 Jan

I figured I’d do a pregnancy update. We have been doing fairly well minus my ER scare a few weeks ago when I ended up with a nice long seven hour visit to the Celebration ER.  Thankfully baby and I are both okay and focusing on keeping ourselves hydrated ever since the scare. Based on the scan we are either at 18 or 19 weeks currently. The little one loves to move around and not stay straight or still… at least in that scan.  So we got some varying measurements – as long as everything is healthy I really don’t care.

I figured I’d finish the blog by having an update of common questions just so I have some sort of record. Not sure if I will continue doing this, but I figured one week won’t hurt!

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Must have items: 

  • Water or Powerade. It’s been my go-to since my hospital visit. I miss drinking things with more flavor, but I’ve officially kicked my caffeine addiction a few weeks ago and have minimal since (just any amount in chocolate or a few sips of soda).
  • Maternity Jeans – I can still zip up my old jeans but they are so painful. Especially for more than a few minutes. We went out shopping yesterday to pick up a few more things and I also bought yoga pants and a jacket. I guess this means I need to go to prenatal yoga soon!

Sleep: I always wake up twice to run to the bathroom and attempt to not step on the puppy who sleeps soundly next to me. He’s moved once or twice after my stumble so I don’t think he trusts me too much right now. I’m to the point that I should start sleeping on my side due to all the pregnancy books, so I’ve instructed my husband to roll me over if he finds me on my back.  He’s done it a few times, amazing husband as he is, and hasn’t minded when I’ve used him to prop myself up sideways.

Cravings: Still Mexican, Chocolate Shakes, Cookies’n’Cream Shakes, Bacon, Cinnamon Rolls, Fruit, and Veggies. A random variety, but so many of my cravings are foods that my husband craves or eats. He finds it hilarious as I’m eating mostly all of his favorites that I don’t always eat a ton of.

Baby movement: I still think I’m getting a few flutters here and there. It doesn’t seem to be increasing, but I do still think I’m feeling it off and on every few days. I’m not worried as it can take up to 25 weeks to feel it stronger in your first pregnancy (at least that’s what they say and I keep telling myself).

Gender: We will find out at our next appointment first week of February! We will announce it a few days later after our immediate families know. I’m excited for our gender ultrasound even though I have to drink a bunch of water before it.

Challenges this week: Working a ton. I slept so much as we had overtime at work. It was a struggle to keep my eyes awake and some days it didn’t feel that I woke up until noon even though I had been at work awhile.  I can’t wait until things slow down a bit.

Best moment this week: Impromptu date night to eat Nachos at Chuy’s. Something about their nachos and creamy jalapeno dip makes me very happy! I was also told I’m starting to actually look pregnant this week by multiple people. That makes me very happy! ❤

six years…

9 Jul

Recently it was my six year anniversary at work.  This brought up another thought in my mind that it’s been six years since I met my amazing husband!  It feels like we have been together forever, and that’s nearly not enough!

us over 4 years ago!

us over 4 years ago!

monorail photo!

monorail photo!

 

The very first time I saw him, I felt something.  It can only be described as I knew he would be important to me.  Somehow, I knew he was supposed to be in my life. That spark has never left me and I am forever grateful to have him!

Aren't we adorable?

Aren’t we adorable?

on Castaway Cay!

on Castaway Cay!

 

We’ve had some crazy adventures, some fun, and we’ve survived and learned a lot – about each other, life, and communicating!

one of our amazing wedding photos!

one of our amazing wedding photos!

milwaukee zoo!

milwaukee zoo!

 

I can’t wait to see what amazing things we get to do!  We are coming up on five years of marriage next year and I can’t wait to hit 50, 60, 70, or more! I’m dreaming big, I want that long and it still won’t be enough!

Our First Home!

Our First Home!

great movie ride dinner!

great movie ride dinner!

 

I love  him, I love our family, I love everything about this guy!

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Hawaii!

all dressed up for Victoria's and Albert's!

all dressed up for Victoria’s and Albert’s!

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parasailing on our first anniversary!

It’s amazing to have someone who I can tell what I am feeling and know he won’t judge. I love him for him and he loves me for me. I am so happy we found each other. I can’t wait to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary next year!

Apologies for a super mushy post! A less mushy one tomorrow!