Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day…

15 Oct

Four years ago now, we had a miscarriage that ended in an emergency D&C on Mother’s Day. (Sometimes the life I live is very ironic.)  Today, is Pregnancy & Infant loss awareness day. 1 in 4 women (possibly even more) have a pregnancy or infant loss during their life. It’s something that’s not talked about. It’s something that’s hidden as society has you geared to not tell others until you are 12 weeks pregnant. Many people are often faced with not telling people or telling people about the baby and then about the loss. Then people don’t know what to say. So many things that are said to be helpful, just end up hurting more.

1 in 4

I am a lucky one. I was pregnant for 12 weeks. Baby died just after our 8-week ultrasound from what we could tell. After the D&C, we took time to heal, and then were blessed with our rainbow baby, Miss L and then further blessed by her amazing little brother Mr. L. I am lucky because I didn’t go through months and months of pregnancy and never getting to meet my little person.

wonder

However, I’ll always wonder. I wonder if it was a boy or a girl. I wonder who they would have looked like. I wonder what we would have named them.  I also know that in my heart, if I would have had that “what if,” I wouldn’t have my two amazing kiddos today so for that I am lucky. Somehow, someday, maybe this will make sense to me as to why whoever you are couldn’t stay with us. Someday, I may understand. I already understand that because of that loss I have two amazing kiddos that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Thank you, little one whoever you are, for bringing us your brother and sister. I am so incredibly blessed.

what if

For those of you who have had a loss or are suffering, I see you. I’m so sorry. If you ever need to talk or an ear to listen to, I’m here. It can be so difficult finding the strength to continue. Finding a way to become a parent. There are options and there are support. You are not alone.

 

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