Hopes, Worries, and Fears…

5 Jan

Well, 2011, Here you are.  All the plans we have planned for this amazing year and suddenly I’m a mess.  Will we be able to afford all this? How will that go? Have I always been this way?

And then the fears are gone.  I’m confident that as a team we can do everything together.

I’m running a half marathon this Saturday.   Not really sure how that will go.  I’m a bit nervous, and am determined not to get picked up by the loser bus.  That’s the longest I’ve ever attempted to run/walk at one attempt.  Luckily I will have an amazing support system there.  So I’m not too worried. However, the worry is still there.

Other than that money is my main worry. We’ve finally caught up, but feel that we’ve spent way too much in advance on our vacation.  Can’t wait for the income tax refund to come back and hopefully we will be able to pay off a decent chunk of our vacation.  Hopefully it will all work out.  One way or another we are going. It just depends how much we can spend there.

Lately I’ve been feeling off. Thinking a bit about the past. I used to be obsessed with music. The world was going to hear my song.  Where did that go? Why did I give up so easily? Is that what I do, give up?  Is that why I try not to form deep friendships? I notice myself barely on the surface with some of my closest friends because I honestly think they won’t care.  However, that’s my problem, not theirs.  Someday I will learn to trust. Someday I will learn to go deeper than the surface.

However, as I always say knowing is half the battle.  Now, I know.  Now I will attempt to heal. Attempt to get back to where I want to be.

Basically, this is just a bunch of rambling.  Not a great start for 2011, but it’s a start, and it’s something.  For that I can be grateful.


One Response to “Hopes, Worries, and Fears…”

  1. Princess Christy January 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    I don’t see you as someone who gives up, but sometimes priorities change. It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on where your focus is, just keep watching for the prizes!

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